First of all, I guess I should explain ‘polyamory’ – a horrible mishmash of a word but the name for something quite glorious. Polyamory is the practice of being open to being involved in more than one romantic relationship at a time.
Second, let me clear something up – this is not about sex ( it can be but not always).
Why am I writing? To explain things and extol the virtues of a lifestyle that has made me, and a lot of my friends, much happier.
Love is not a finite quantity – as anyone with lots of children will know. So, loving my girlfriend doesn’t mean there is less love for my partner, or that my girl’s boyfriend gets any less love. What we have learnt, as we have taken our journey through poly is that actually love only grows. ‘One true love’ is a fantasy that lots of people hold dear, but none of us in my linear poly string really know why. Sure, being loved by one person is awesome – but believe me being loved by two is better. Both my lovely women love me in such different ways, and I love them very differently.
My partner is the woman I will grow old with, we have a home together, a mortgage, cats, a joint bank account – security, stability, comfort and care. We are family. We go out for dinner, we leave each other little notes, we buy each other treats. There’s no pulse-racing, but there is complete and total love and trust.
My girl is a ball of delight, she’s energetic, fun and has shown me over the last four years why I am worth loving.When I see myself through her eyes, I can smile about who I am. She lives a long way away, but we talk everyday. I couldn’t live with her, we’d drive each other barmy, apart from the fact that my life & hers wouldn’t fit comfortably together. My life with my partner was happiness enough, I wasn’t looking for ‘something else’ but my girl has taken it to a whole new level.
That’s the wonderful thing about Poly – I don’t have to choose. As they started telling us in nursery school – it’s nice to share, and before any of you start getting ‘ideas’ – no, my girl & my partner don’t have a relationship (apart from being friends). This is real life, not a bad late-night movie, okay?
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