5 REASONS YOU DON’T REACH ORGASM

CAN’T ORGASM? YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE.

It’s natural to blame yourself for not reaching orgasm every time or at all when you have sex. It’s equally as easy to blame your partner for not getting you there either. As it turns out, you both could be getting in the way of your ultimate pleasure. But you’re not alone, around 30% of women have trouble reaching orgasm.


1) Foreplay takes time.

One of the most common reasons women miss out on orgasms is because the foreplay is often rushed through as if the penetration is the main event. Stop thinking of foreplay as the pre-game warm up and come to know it as the first half of the game.

According to Cosmo, women need about 20 minutes of foreplay to stimulate the body for sexual arousal. This first round action makes for a much better vaginal orgasm and can turn your partner on even more.

2) Thinking to much.

So it turns out, as with anything, your psyche has a lot more to do with your orgasm than you thought. Whether you’re thinking about your body, your fear of vulnerability, or just thinking about thinking, your mind is not allowing you to embrace the orgasm.

These psychological blockers have to be confronted whether with your partner or alone. Repressed emotions will surely prevent you from orgasm and so much more. Spend time with yourself to be honest about what could be holding you back emotionally.

3) Your vagina has lost sensation.

A numb vagina could be the result of repressed trauma or simply being denied the ability to explore sexuality. Either way all is not lost, there are people that believe in the reviving of your vaginal sensation.

Learn to accept your sensuality, own it girl! There’s nothing more sexy than confidence.

4) The clitoris is ignored. 

This correlates with #1. A lot of that foreplay should be focused on the clitoris, because it has more nerve-endings than the vagina. And FYI the clitoris can be stimulated in more positions than just one.

Add some grinding to your sex and maybe even some toys to keep your c-spot stimulated throughout.

5) Your vagina needs exercise.

The vagina’s muscles can become weak over time, which is no fault of your own. But this lack of strength could be the reason you’re not experiencing an orgasm. Yoni eggs or simple kegels can help strengthen your vaginal muscles.

Sincerely, 

The Girl Spot Brand, LLC 
 

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10 Signs Your Spouse Is Your Best Friend

I read this article the other day and it talked about how being happy in your marriage did not require you and your spouse to be best friends. I found this article interesting because my husband and I consider ourselves to best friends. The article went on to say that trying to achieve best friend status with your spouse was too much pressure for both parties involved. I kinda get that, it does seem like pressure when your trying to make you spouse your best friend. But, what if time together, experiences together, sharing life together makes you and your spouse realize that you are the most favorite person to each other. Isn’t that how real friendships start? Now I know some of your are thinking, I love my spouse but I don’t know if they are my BFF. It’s okay to feel that way. Nothing wrong with that. But, I will tell you that a recent study that was conducted by the National Bureau of Economic Research in Canada found that the (participating) couples who claimed their spouse was their best friend had the highest level of happiness. It was concluded at the end of the study that couples married to their best friends had more well-being benefits than couples that did not consider their spouse to be there best friend. So how do couples know that they are married their best friend?

They Talk A Lot

Communication is open and trustful when deep friendship is present. Spouses share their thoughts, dreams and goals with each other and any other thing they want to discuss. They value the views of their spouse and there is no one better to bounce things off of. Their open communication leaves no room for misunderstandings, confusion and assumptions in their marriage. They work to avoid communication that is tainted with criticism, nagging and disrespect(especially when in disagreement)because they know only hurt feelings will follow.

They Really Like Each Other

Now we know how important love is in a marriage but liking your spouse is important too. These spouses genuinely like and value each other. They enjoy being around each other as much as possible and they don’t mind doing nothing together. They are the biggest fans of each other.

They Feel Completely Comfortable Around Each Other

These couples feel so connected that they feel 100% comfortable and secure around each other. They can talk about anything with each other and know that they want be judged for how they feel about something. They can be simply be themselves around each other.

They Can Finish Each Others Sentences

These couples are very close, so it’s no surprise that they find themselves (at times) finishing each others sentences. No magic tricks required or needed just a closeness that allows these couples to really know each other.

They Take A Real Interest In Each Other

Its not enough to know their spouse’s likes, they take an interest as well. They enjoy understanding why their spouse likes something. These couples do well when buying gifts for each other because they have a true understanding of what their spouse likes and what they don’t.

They Treasure Advice From Each Other

Advice from a best friend? Absolutely! These couples treasure the advice they give each other. They know that they will get honest and sincere responses and they know their spouse will always have their best interest at heart.

They Bounce Back From Disagreements Quick

Disagreements will happen in marriage. It’s just the way it is. These couples however don’t marinate in feelings of discontent, when disagreements occur. They don’t like when things are not on solid ground with each other. So even when an argument arises, they are quick to bounce back from it because being upset with each other doesn’t make either one of them feel good. Not At All!

They Have Fun Together

These couples find themselves laughing together a lot over inside jokes that no one else seems to get. They like being silly and being happy around each other. Hanging out together is not seen as anything but time well spent. These couples have no problem allowing their inner child to come out and play.

They Trust Each Other Completely

These couples have a trust level that allows them to share the deepest parts of their hearts. They feel safe and secure with their spouse. These couples know that they can rely on each in all situations. They both receive major comfort knowing that they trust each other implicitly.

They Run To Each Other With The First Hint Of News

When these couples have news (whether good or bad) they can’t wait to tell each other. It’s almost like a compulsion. To these couples, good news doesn’t fully seem like good news until it’s shared with their spouse.

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20 Flirty Text Messages To Send Your Spouse

If I were asked if flirting between husband and wife was a necessity in marriage, my answer to this is AB-SO-LUTE-LY! I say this because flirting between two people in love encourages those feelings of want, desire and even the anticipation of what’s to come in the bedroom. It’s a great way for couples to have fun together. In a study at the University of Kentucky  in 2012, 164 married couples were studied to find out just how important flirting was to a happy marriage. The researchers in this study examined marital partners’ flirtatious behaviors, flirtatious motivations, relational maintenance, commitment, and satisfaction. The researchers found that flirting was motivated by a desire for sexual activity and the desire to create a private world with the spouse.

Overall, flirting appeared to operate similarly to maintenance communication in marital couples. There are different ways to go about getting your flirt on with your spouse and one of those ways is through texting. Flirty texts or sexting is something that sexologist Gloria Brame, Ph.D has studied and she found that engaging in the exhilaration of sexting can do wonders for post-nuptial nookie. “In marriage, it’s a continuation of an intimate relationship that stimulates bonding chemicals in your brain, and makes sex hotter sex when you have it.” says Brame.

So how do you go about flirt texting if you have never done it before? A few tips that you can incorporate in your flirty texts is:

  • Have Fun – Relax and have a good time sharing words that encourages intimacy in your marriage.
  • Be Yourself – You don’t have to start off with sounding like a full time seductress working overtime. Keep it simple and then as you get more comfortable with it, get a little more descriptive with your words.
  • Choose Appropriate Time – Be cognizant of the time that you choose to send your spouse a flirty text message. For busy couples, Take the time to plan ahead and ask your spouse when is a good time for you to share some of your thoughts on text. This definitely gives your spouse something to look forward to!

So the next time that you want to get your flirt on with your spouse, consider using some sexy and flirty text messages to get your point across. As always, my fellow couples, Keep it Hot!

1.  By the way, I am still wearing the smile you gave me this morning.

2.  So many choices to make tonight…should we choose the bed, the wall, the kitchen, the patio, the car?

3.  Can you get off early? I really need to see you. In our bed. Naked. Right now.

4.  I’m having a postal inspection when you get home. I need to check your package.

5.  The sounds we make together when our clothes are gone… Turns. Me. On.

6.  I have been thinking about you a lot today and I was wondering if we could discuss these thoughts in bed. naked. tonight.

7.  Just wanted to give you heads up for tonight… I plan on making you moan over and over again, until you tell me to stop.

8.  Lets go away this weekend. I want to see how many times I can get you naked with no interruptions.

9.  I can’t concentrate on work today…I keep thinking about you, my tongue and your addictive moans.

10.  Baby, I have the “So Hot For You Syndrome” and I never want to be cured.

11.  You were so hot last night… #cannotstopthinkingaboutwhatyoudid

12.  The rain is not the only reason that I am wet today…

13.  I love the outfit you put on this morning baby. Question. How fast do you think I can take it off you tonight?

14.  I just wanted to remind you that if today gets hard for you, I mean like really hard for you, I will be there to lend you a helping hand, touch, kiss or whatever. I am here for you 🙂

15.  I’ll meet you home, I’ll be the one naked with a smile, waiting for you in our bed.

16.  Just wanted to let you know that I love you baby…FYI this text was sent with no clothes on…

17.  Thinking about using your tie that I love so much tonight. Game?

18.  No one says my name the “way” you do especially when…well you know when don’t you?

19.  If you could see my thoughts of you right now, you would know why I cannot concentrate on work today.

20.  After the kids go to sleep tonight, I’ll meet you in our car for a much needed tune-up. Don’t be late!

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On my daughter's second birthday, a season of lasts

If I had known that it was going to be the last time, I would have taken our picture.  One of you falling asleep the way that you had every day your entire life.  Your eyes were usually half closed with a happy smile playing around your lips, all of your focus on nursing.

Your hands were almost always clasped together, as if in some silent prayer.  Sometimes you would pull off to laugh, say something to me, or start singing me a song.  Sometimes you would just flop back, contented, and drift off to sleep.  No matter how it ended, it always started the same, just the two of us in our quiet routine.

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Lindsay and I nursing our babies right before my wedding in 2015, photo by Maria Kalitina

Yes, you were almost two, and I was almost five months pregnant, and I was so readyfor this part of our relationship to be over, but you were not.  It had become both a physical and emotional strain on me in the last month of this pregnancy.  I would sit there with you, watching you drift off to sleep, and quietly hope that soon this part of our journey would be done.

And then one day, it just ended.  One day it was our normal and the next it was something that we used to do.   Had I known I would have done something differently, I would have taken that picture or maybe sat there with you asleep in my arms for a little longer, just memorizing every detail about those tiny praying hands.

Next, you fell asleep, not in my arms, but in your father’s.  He took you into your room and laid you in your bed and I stood in the kitchen and cried, not just because this was another thing that you no longer needed me for, but because it was another ending.

This is it, the beginning of the lasts.  We spent so much time focusing on all of your firsts that we forgot that there would be lasts to follow.  And it all came upon us so quickly; you are still days away from your second birthday but we have already experienced so many of these lasts.

The last baby giggle, your laugh now deeper and louder.  And you don’t just laugh at anything anymore.  Gone are the days that I could reduce you to hysterics by saying “mama” over and over again.  Now you have this very particular sense of humor that finds amusement in the strangest of things (you get this trait from your father, I assure you).

That last time you that you needed to sign to me because you didn’t have the words to verbally let me know what you wanted.  I can remember that first sign (“more”) and how we cheered you on and marveled that you were finally able to communicate in your own way.  Then you started speaking (your first word, a simple “hi”) and then your language skills just exploded.  One day you had a handful of words in your repertoire and the next, you were stringing together sentences.  There was a last time you had to sign to me and I don’t even remember what it was.

The last time you asked to go for a walk in your stroller. Now your preferred means of travel is your own two feet.  Just like everything else lately, you want to do it all by yourself.  I can’t even remember the last time I wore you in your carrier, which used to be the only way that we could go anywhere.  Another of the lasts that came and went without much notice.  One day it was our normal, the next, it was something we just used to do.

When will be the last time you ask me to pick you up?  Or the last time you want to hold my hand and lead me into the other room to show me something you saw outside the window?  I know we still have many firsts ahead of us, but right now in this moment, it seems like we are in a season of lasts.

You’re growing up so fast, and changing so quickly, that you are different from day to day.  Each day brings a new discovery, a new change, and something new that you no longer need my help with.  It is wonderful, amazing, miraculous, and heart breaking.

Not because you’re growing up (because that is what I want more than anything for you, is to grow and change and learn), but because these moments seem to come and go without any warning.  I don’t even realize that I’m experiencing the change of a season until it’s already upon us.

…And the reality is that as I view this as a season of lasts, it is still a season of firsts.  As I focus on the last time that you nursed, it is also the first time that you fell asleep on your own.  Instead of the last time that you asked to go for a ride in your stroller, it’s the first time you asked to take a walk down the street.  Just as Fall is sometimes actually Winter, this season of lasts is still a season of firsts

I just wish I had a little notice, a little voice in the back of my mind to tell me to hold onto this one thing as tight as I can because it’s the last time it will happen and someday I will miss it.

Today, I miss your baby giggle and the way that you used to fall asleep with your face burrowed into my chest, your ear to my heart.

What will I miss tomorrow?

To my daughter, on the week of her second birthday. 

This post originally appeared at https://lakewi.net/2016/12/06/on-my-daughters-second-birthday-a-season-of-lasts/

 

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Why Older Women Dating is More Popular than Millionaire Match

Older women  dating younger men. This is not something new to society but has kicked up quite a bit in recent time. There seems to be something to be proud of when you can attract a younger man. Whether it be referencing how young you look, how fun you are, or even how sexually active you may be that maybe an older man cannot keep up with you. Whatever the reason it is becoming a trend in today’s society that does not look like it will be ending any time soon. If anything, these older men need to step their game up.
Why Older Women Seeking Younger Men?
Some women prefer to date younger men as a self-esteem booster. The younger guy may make the woman feel more attractive than an older man would. Other women do it so that they do not have to make as much of a commitment. When dating someone your age or even older, for women, there are pressures of the man wanting to have a family right away or the stress of having to maybe act a little older as well and take on more responsibilities. One of the more open spoken about reasons why older women date younger men is because they have hit their sexual peak. The older women claim that they have a high sex drive and the men their age cannot keep up with how often they want to have sex.

How Do They Find These Younger Men?
Dating sites are a big place that women look to hook up with their younger men. A few of the sites that are available are: sugar-momma.org, olderwomendatingsites.org. But they are not the only place women find their younger men. It can happen anywhere. In the workplace, at a coffee shop, at a university, and even family friends. There seems to be this myth about dating younger men that when you do it, it has to be in a kinky way. That isn’t true. If you meet someone and connect with them in a regular setting and decide to take it to the next level, it can happen naturally.

Is This A Good Thing or Bad Thing?
Is being a cougar a good or bad thing? Honestly, it all depends on the context of the situation. For example, if you have a close friend with an 18 year old son, it is probably not a good idea and if you are fantasizing about him you might need to find yourself another outlet. But if, as mentioned above, you seem to find an attraction to a younger man in a healthy age range then there can be a relationship built. If both parties are willing to make it work in whatever way they see fit. Will there be backlash for the relationship? There could be. Some women find being called a cougar an insult, whereas others find it to be endearing. Again, depending on the situation things can be seen certain ways. Cougar dating websites are the best places t find and date older women online.

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How to be happy? Benefits of Meditation

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One of the common aims of every one of us is to stay happy. Not all the people know the reason behind this. You need to know that how important happiness is for you. It will be a little tricky task to state that why being happy is important, but a number of benefits can be listed, that comes from happiness. You tend to enjoy life when you become happy however this is not the only benefit of being happy. There are a number of benefits associated with it. Various studies showed that the happier people usually live longer. Though it is not the only way to live longer but it has a great impact on our lives. So, we all need to stay happy because it enhances the chances of a person to live longer.

Same is the case with your health. Lots of studies have shown that the people who live happily are the healthier people. It doesn’t need much explanation that the illness and the stress are directly proportional to each other. So, being happy will let you stay away from mental as well as physical illnesses. So, for every person, it is really very important to stay happy. The ways to stay happy are not same to all. All the people have different ways to make them happy.

Can Hiring a comedian work?

Yes, it can. For sake of making yourself as well as the other people around you to laugh is easy. One of the best ways to do this is to book a comedian. Hiring comedian can make you laugh easily and helps to enhance the physical as well as mental health. Laughter helps you to relax as it relieves all the tension as well as stress. Laughter helps you to boost up the immune system. Undoubtedly, laughter protects your heart more than anything else. Laughter can let you forget all of your worries and sorrows. In this regard, nothing can help you more than to hire a comedian, as they are experts to make everyone laugh.

Few various tips on hiring a comedian:

If you are planning a night of happiness, you can hire a comedian. The comedians can definitely make you laugh and can give you a night of laughter.  To hire a comedian, you need to consider a number of things. The tips will help you to choose the best comedian and you can achieve the purpose successfully.

  • Look for the experienced comedian:

The first and foremost thing to consider is that you must look for the experienced comedian. The experience is the only thing that can guarantee you about the best comedian. Experienced comedians know how to make the audience laugh and they will do their job best. So this is the major reason why hiring an experienced comedian is necessary to make your night of laughter, the best night ever. Working with a professional comedian will definitely give you much more than you expect.

  • Discuss the material:

Before hiring the comedian, one thing should be kept in mind that you must discuss all the material as well as the type of audience. This is really a very critical factor to consider and you must make it sure before you hire the one. Discussing each and everything, for example, the age, as well as the carrier of the audience, will give the best estimation to the comedian about what type of material to include. The personalized material will help the comedian to conduct a successful night of laughter.  

  • Consider the type of event:

It is really very critical to consider the type of event before you Guided Meditation for Sleep to make your audience laugh. Hiring the appropriate comedian, keeping in mind your event, will let you conduct a successful event. For example, for a corporate get-together, it will not be a good idea to call a local comedian.  Instead, you should go to book a comedian who is specialized in conducting corporate events.

  • Timing plays an important role:

 Appropriate timing can make your event successful while inappropriate one can ruin it. You must plan the appropriate timings i.e. when to call the comedian for performance in your event. For example, if it’s a late night function, you can schedule the performance of the comedian after the dinner is over that what you gain with meditation

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What This Parent did to Alleviate Painful Teething Signs and Symptoms

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Painful teething signs and symptoms are referred to as one of those points in your parenthood which is never a pleasant one. This is because no matter what you try to do or how hard, you just cannot make the pain go away for your child. That in turn makes you feel upset, knowing that you are being useless in this kind of a situation.

So, while there are some kids whose teeth sprouts as early as three months, there are others who are slightly late bloomers. This means that their teeth does not sprout until they are almost a year old. Regardless of the fact, teething symptoms is something which would need to be dealt with in a smart manner. Only in this way would you be able to make sure that this bad time passes over as well.

Go Natural – Not Synthetic

 

Therefore, in order to soothe a teething baby, there are several over the counter medications that you would be able to find. It is also because of this reason that majority of the parents seem to go for this option since this is so convenient. However, these medications also seem to contain benzocaine which can have negative side effects on your child. It is for this reason that this parent took the initiative of using only natural remedies to get rid of painful teething signs and symptoms. Since they use pretty common ingredients and items, there would be no problem in getting hold of them. In addition, there would be no negative side effects to get worried about as well.

So, if you are curious to find out how this mother managed to get rid of this problem once and for all, read on below.

Soothing a Teething Baby Naturally

 

  • Breastfeeding

As a new parent, you might be slightly scared and hesitant about breastfeeding your baby at such a time. However, you would be surprised to find out that breastfeeding can actually help soothe a teething baby. This is because the warm milk running over their gums, as well as the entire process of getting breastfed is something which they are quite familiar with. So, during this time, they would calm down at least for some time.

However, one word of caution that this mother would try to give all the other mothers out there is to pay attention to their child during breastfeeding. This is because if they get bored, they might start using the nipples as teethers which again can be quite painful.

  • Silicone necklaces and toys

During the teething phase, the child would be willing to put anything that would come within their reach. This is actually one of the painful teething signs and symptoms. So, for this reason, you can think about giving your silicone toys. This is actually considered to be a healthier alternative than the plastic ones. Also, when choosing one, you need to make sure that it has been made from medical grade silicone and BPA free. Also, a necklace would also be a smart choice since not only would it be stylish, but it would serve the purpose as well. So, by handing a chilled teething necklace or toy to your kid, it would help alleviate the pain to some extent.

  • Cold objects

To soothe a teething baby, using cold objects could also be considered to be an effective natural remedy. This is because the coldness can actually help to soothe their aching gums. Again, you need to be careful when handing them a cold object. Make sure that it is chilled and not frozen as it would add more to the problem rather than alleviating the pain. A frozen washcloth would also seem like a great option.

  • Baltic amber teething necklace

These teething necklaces are made from Baltic Amber beads which are famous for their anti-inflammatory properties. So, all you would have to make sure that the necklace comes in to contact with your child’s skin and you would see the effect starting to take place pretty quick. Other than that, it can help in boosting the immune system, increase the energy levels, as well as the child coping with anxiety. So, all in all, this is a necklace which would work wonders for your child.

  • Essential oils

Essential oils can also be used to treat painful teething signs and symptoms. Create a mixture and run that along the gum line on the outside of the cheek. Just make sure that they do not swallow it.

So, thanks to these natural tips, it would help to soothe a teething baby.

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I Didn't Qualify to Be an Egg Donor. Am I Infertile?

It’s a scary, unexpected thing, when as an egg donor you have your hormones drawn and an ultrasound performed, and then are told you don’t qualify medically for an egg donor program. In addition to the disappointment of not being able to donate your eggs to a couple who wants a pregnancy, there’s a new worry: Do have fertility problems? 

What does it mean? What is your best course of action? Can you do anything?

InVia Fertility Reviews

Tests We Run on Potential Egg Donors

A significant part of the medical screening of a potential egg donor involves tests that predict egg quality and quantity. These ovarian reserve tests involve measurement of four hormones: estradiol, luteinizing hormone, follicle stimulating hormone and anti mullerian hormone, and an ultrasound to measure antral follicle count.

The estradiol (E2) test can indicate how well the ovaries are working. Estradiol is a form of the hormone estrogen, and it’s also called “17 beta-estradiol.” The ovaries, breasts, and adrenal glands make estradiol.

Luteinizing hormone (LH) is an important part of your menstrual cycle. It works with follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH), which is another gonadotropin made in the pituitary gland. FSH stimulates the ovarian follicle, causing an egg to grow. It also triggers the production of estrogen in the follicle. LH is an important hormone women produce. This hormone is known as a gonadotropin, and it affects the sex organs in women. It affects ovaries and plays a role in puberty, menstruation, and fertility.

Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) is a hormone associated with reproduction and the development of eggs in women and sperm in men. This test measures FSH in the blood or urine. FSH is made by the pituitary gland, a grape-sized organ located at the base of the brain.

Anti-Mullerian Hormone (AMH) is a protein hormone produced by granulosa cells (cells lining the egg sacs or follicles) within the ovary. AMH can be measured in the blood at any time in the menstrual cycle as it is stable throughout the cycle. It is a marker for ovarian (egg) reserve.

If your levels have come back low for any of these numbers, there may be an external reason for it. Find out what can cause you to be rejected as an egg donor– but NOT be an indicator that you’re infertile– by reading more here.

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What Happens If Your Ex Doesn’t Comply with a Court Order?

Court orders issued during or after a divorce are legally binding, meaning both parties are legally obligated to comply with the conditions in the order. But what if your ex is failing to comply with the order? Whether it’s child support, property division, or alimony, failure to comply can cause a great deal of frustration and place undue stress on the affected spouse.

Here’s what can happen if your ex refuses to comply with a court order:

Filing an Enforcement Motion

Unless your ex is significantly behind in child support payments, the police are unlikely to show up at his/her door.

It is up to you to inform the court of your ex’s violation of the order, and to petition the court to force your ex to comply.

Some states call this an “enforcement motion,” while others refer to this as a “motion of contempt.” Your ex will receive a notice of the motion and a court date.

Affirmative Defense

If your ex is unable to comply with the court order, an “affirmative defense” may be presented in court. Whatever the violation may be, your spouse will need to demonstrate that he/she was not able to comply.

For example, your ex may be unemployed and unable to find a job, making it virtually impossible to meet child support and/or alimony obligations.

Without ample support or evidence to back such a claim, you ex may face serious consequences for violating the court order.

Contempt of Court

The violation of a court order can happen at any time during or after the divorce proceedings. In most cases, infractions include failure to pay child support or alimony, failure to comply with visitation agreements or failure to distribute assets as outlined in the divorce agreement.

If your ex willfully or intentionally fails to comply with a court order, he/she may be found in contempt of court.

The key words here are intentionally and willfully.

In order for your ex to be found in contempt, you must prove that he/she:

  • Knew of the court order,
  • Could comply with the court order, but violated the conditions intentionally, and
  • Lacks a valid cause or justification for violating the order.

“The burden of proof lies on the accuser,” says a representative for Maxim Law, a law firm that specializes in divorce. “Accusers need to provide evidence to support their claim, so it’s important to have proof before even filing for contempt.”

For example, if your ex-spouse did not allow you to see your children during the scheduled visitation time, you would have a difficult time convincing the court if he/she had a valid excuse for the missed visit.

Civil and Criminal Penalties

If your ex is found in contempt of court, he/she may face civil and criminal charges. These penalties may include fines, attorney fees, jail time, or even compensatory visitation time.

While jail time is a possibly, it is rarely the outcome. Generally, the court is just looking to get the party to comply with the order. The threat of jail time is often enough to get the party to comply with the ord

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What Happens If Your Ex Doesn’t Comply with a Court Order?

Court orders issued during or after a divorce are legally binding, meaning both parties are legally obligated to comply with the conditions in the order. But what if your ex is failing to comply with the order? Whether it’s child support, property division, or alimony, failure to comply can cause a great deal of frustration and place undue stress on the affected spouse.

Here’s what can happen if your ex refuses to comply with a court order:

Filing an Enforcement Motion

Unless your ex is significantly behind in child support payments, the police are unlikely to show up at his/her door.

It is up to you to inform the court of your ex’s violation of the order, and to petition the court to force your ex to comply.

Some states call this an “enforcement motion,” while others refer to this as a “motion of contempt.” Your ex will receive a notice of the motion and a court date.

Affirmative Defense

If your ex is unable to comply with the court order, an “affirmative defense” may be presented in court. Whatever the violation may be, your spouse will need to demonstrate that he/she was not able to comply.

For example, your ex may be unemployed and unable to find a job, making it virtually impossible to meet child support and/or alimony obligations.

Without ample support or evidence to back such a claim, you ex may face serious consequences for violating the court order.

Contempt of Court

The violation of a court order can happen at any time during or after the divorce proceedings. In most cases, infractions include failure to pay child support or alimony, failure to comply with visitation agreements or failure to distribute assets as outlined in the divorce agreement.

If your ex willfully or intentionally fails to comply with a court order, he/she may be found in contempt of court.

The key words here are intentionally and willfully.

In order for your ex to be found in contempt, you must prove that he/she:

  • Knew of the court order,
  • Could comply with the court order, but violated the conditions intentionally, and
  • Lacks a valid cause or justification for violating the order.

“The burden of proof lies on the accuser,” says a representative for Maxim Law, a law firm that specializes in divorce. “Accusers need to provide evidence to support their claim, so it’s important to have proof before even filing for contempt.”

For example, if your ex-spouse did not allow you to see your children during the scheduled visitation time, you would have a difficult time convincing the court if he/she had a valid excuse for the missed visit.

Civil and Criminal Penalties

If your ex is found in contempt of court, he/she may face civil and criminal charges. These penalties may include fines, attorney fees, jail time, or even compensatory visitation time.

While jail time is a possibly, it is rarely the outcome. Generally, the court is just looking to get the party to comply with the order. The threat of jail time is often enough to get the party to comply with the ord

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