I’m seeing more and more people being in long distance relationships and I can’t help but wonder, if more people are choosing to date someone residing in another country why are people still so negative about it? Romance between two people starts off as a gamble with fate with a mixture of fireworks like the 4th of July and as days goes by, feelings tend to get stronger and eventually talks of ‘happily ever after’ comes to the surface. So then I ask, how is this any different if the romance is generated from afar or near? Being in both a failed long distance relationship and currently in a successful one, here are 4 things people get wrong about long distance relationships:
It’s not real
Two people in love can reside in two different area codes, let alone separate countries. In the year 2016, technology has increased dramatically where the functionality of communication has become easier to achieve. With the technology increasing, it’s also safe to say it’s easier to ‘pretend’ to be someone you’re not. People do unfortunately get catfish, and that’s the sad truth. However, two separate residential countries doesn’t justify whether the relationship is real or not. That spark of interest to the emotional rollercoaster through arguments and hardships are real. The time invested for both parties to work through those hardships are also real. Hearts break at airports are real, and so are happily ever after’s – the only difference is the physical aspect.
You lose feelings easily
Yes, distance is hard and you have to work extra hard to keep the romance alive when you’re separated. It’s not easy, but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose feelings because you can’t physically touch them. It takes a strong person and a stronger duo to understand that the physical touch isn’t the most important aspect in a relationship. I believe it’s also safe to say that if a person genuinely loses feelings in someone, it will happen whether they’re 1-minute away or 1 layover away.
The sensual need to be with your partner gets harder (no pun intended) the longer you two are together and being apart doesn’t make it easier. We’re all adults and all adults have their needs. As adults we’re introduced to certain things to satisfy those needs and if you or your partner has a hard time figuring out their boundaries because they can’t keep it in their pants, the infidelity is bound to happen. That is no different from dating someone who’s local. The only difference is, being in a long distance relationship you work much more harder to keep that bond strong that breaking it simply because you needed a quick satisfaction doesn’t seem to be worth it. Granted, I could be wrong and there’s still asshole’s out there that would rather slip into someone else’s pants for the night than to resist the urge. But if that were the case, would you want to be with someone who is weak?
Impossible; the word that limits anyone from believing they can do it. If there was one thing that Disney has taught us, is that nothing is impossible. Yes, it takes two strong people to fight through the distance and the will power to keep going even after the distance has closed. Long distance relationships only fail because one person has stopped trying, and is that not true for any relationship? There is so much more to the relationship failing, unfortunately distance is one of them. Having said that, failed relationships due to the distance should never discourage anyone; it should only provide hope that the right person is yet to be found.
If you have asked me over 10 years ago if I believed that long distance could work, I can easily say no. During that time, technology hasn’t made it possible to connect that easily and I haven’t experienced enough happiness and burden to know what I will and will not tolerate. Now in my late 20s, I know myself well enough to say that long distance is not for everyone but it suits my needs and my personality. No matter how far or near someone is, being romantically involved is the same throughout the books. There is no difference between the two (aside from the obvious: distance) so labeling your relationship as long distance doesn’t mean it’s less than qualified nor should anyone look at your relationship any different because your SO lives elsewhere. A relationship is a relationship no matter how far or near, and if you’re lucky enough to find someone who chooses to never be separated from your heart, my advice is: keep them.
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